being romantic is overrated

The title of this post should give you an idea of how I feel about Valentine's Day.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's perfectly fine to show someone love and affection through gifts or flowers, but I think sometimes that we place too much stock on romantic gestures as a sign of "love".

I suppose this comes as a result of being married to a rather un-romantic person (sorry, V!).

I remember in our early years of dating that I would feel a teeny bit disappointed if he hadn't planned anything for Valentine's Day.

Over the years, though, I've cared less and less about February 14. Maybe it comes with age (sigh), or maybe it's the fact that... it really doesn't matter to me anymore.

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Like many of you, I enjoy being on the receiving end of grand gestures of love. Who wouldn't?

But that really isn't what love is about. I know it's been said countless times, but it's something that just has to be said. Especially since Valentine's Day has become such a circus act, where people use it as a way to show off or, worse, feel "superior" than others. It's not always overtly depicted, but it might just be an unconscious motivation.

Valentine's Day doesn't mean anything to me anymore because he shows me that he loves me in a million other ways:

By helping to cook and clean up (two things I don't particularly enjoy). By staying up till 3am and having a conversation about the most random things with me even though he has class at 9am the next day. By letting me decide where to eat 99% of the time. By watching shows that I want to watch. By building a vanity table for me to store my ever-growing beauty stash.

I could go on, but by now, it should be clear that... his love language is "acts of service". (Ok, to be fair, he did surprise me with roses and a sweet handwritten card for our third wedding anniversary.)

Nobody would put these mundane scenes I just described above in a movie. After all, you wouldn't fall head over heels for someone who decided to declare his love for you by, say, cleaning up your house, or cutting fruit for you, or doing your laundry.

But these insignificant acts are love in action. Simple, pure, selfless love.

So to all the women out there who might not get anything special on Valentine's Day:

Stop comparing. Stop wishing he would be a bit more like your girl pal's boyfriend or husband. Stop berating him for not doing anything romantic.

Start listing out what he has done for you and your household. Start appreciating and recognising that he does show love in the smallest of ways.

But on second thought: Why wait till Valentine's Day to do this? You might as well start now. <3

xx,
iz