on fear

I am writing this in a one-bedroom apartment we now call home in Vancouver, BC. That we are finally here, and here in time for V to start his studies in September, is pretty amazing tbh.

I've not lived overseas for a prolonged period of time (apart from a three-week work stint in Yeosu, Korea), so I was naturally excited about the impending move, but also really nervous.

How would we survive without both of us drawing a regular salary? What would our new home be like? Would I be able to tolerate the cold weather? How do I even go about making friends?!

V kept telling me to "have faith". But in my head I felt like it was something so easy to say, and so difficult to accomplish. In the weeks before our one-way tickets out of Singapore, my spirit was rather unsettled. I felt really stressed up and my head was crowded with a million and one things to accomplish before the move - until I read a devotional that reminded me to have no fear.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Deuteronomy 31:6”

Those words struck me hard that day, and I told myself to let go and stop dwelling on my fears and anxieties, and surrender everything - my unknown future, my upcoming experiences in a whole new world - to Him. My spirit instantly felt lighter and less flustered.

But hey, I'm not saying this is a magic formula to remove stress ASAP, because obviously the stressors still existed. I think what changed was my posturing - from focusing on the things that I had yet to do and had yet to happen, to focusing on the One who would see me through it all. It is no small comfort to have a God who will do so, no matter what.

xx,
iz